Making a Mess at Malfoy Manor
by Whoosh918
Summary: Draco's confused. He's falling out of love with Harry and in love with Hermione... and it doesn't help that they BOTH want him. When a small accident brings them both to the manor, how will he choose? WarningSexual references, slashy, and a bit OOC...
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: It has come to my attention that some of you thought Harry was being a homosexual in chapter 8 of "Hall of Essence" when he suggested Draco kiss him. This short is for you people out there. Thanks, Phlurt, for the idea .

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Making a Mess at Malfoy Manor

Life for Harry Potter was becoming more and more normal... well... as normal as being a wizard could possibly be. Voldemort was losing power and so on the run, Harry would be graduating in a year and going onto whatever life he chose, he could drive if he so chose, and... he was beginning to fall in love.

Hermione Granger was confused. She was one of the brightest witches of her age (she'd passed all her exams this year with percentages over 102), yet she could not, for the life of her, figure out why she was beginning to feel a certain way about... well... her worst enemy.

Draco Malfoy had changed since his first years at Hogwarts. Then, he had been a stubborn, cynical, rude, immature little runt who sucked up to teachers and played some of the meanest pranks. Now, he was a stubborn, rude, cynical young adult who played mild practical jokes. He had become better acquainted with Potter and his crew, and he could have a civil, even entertaining, conversation with them. Yet, he found that something else about him was changing – he was beginning to fall out and in love.

Harry sat in his tiny bedroom of his aunt and uncle's house. He could hear them talking loudly about how they should make Harry move into an apartment of his own, now that he was old enough to make it on his own. He simply ignored their blatant rudeness and flipped through his photo album of the years. As he looked at one picture, he noticed a tall, pale blond boy sulking about the background. Harry grinned. As strange as it seemed... he was beginning to fall for this boy.

Hermione reclined on the couch. Her books and wand lay strewn about her. Not that she particularly cared at this moment; she passed the year, whoopee. Yet, this was a very uncharacteristic emotion for her... one of many. Could it really be possible that she wanted Draco? Sure, the two always battled for grades, and now that Draco was older, he was more tolerant to working with her in class, but why him? Why not Harry or Ron?

Draco sat at his beside desk as he wrote two letters – one to Harry Potter, and one to Hermione Granger. The letter for Potter... it was only to apologize that he had forgotten to give him his cauldron back before they had gotten off the train. Draco sighed. To think that he had once felt something for the Boy Who Lived. Now... their relationship was reduced to him returning an old cauldron.

The other letter... could he really send it to Hermione? Draco read over it. It confessed his feelings of love for her. As crazy it sounded, he loved a MUDBLOOD. Over the years, her mass of curly hair softened to beautiful waves, her bucktooth grin transformed into a lovely grin that drove him wild, her vast knowledge only grew with each passing year. Little pieces of parchment with his handwriting reading, "I love you" lied crumpled on his desk and on the floor. Sure some of those had once been for Harry, but he didn't need to remember that right now.

Draco sealed both letters with the Malfoy crest. However, as to whether or not he would send BOTH of the letters... well... he was very much unsure of that. "I need air," he muttered. He left both letters and the cauldron in his room. Draco heaved another sigh, grabbed his broom, and rode out the window.

"Draco?" Narcissa Malfoy called gently. She opened the door to his room, only to find it empty. As she walked in, she stepped on a little piece of parchment. Draco was also so messy. She picked up the pieces of parchment and threw them in the cauldron on the floor. "He can take care of it when he gets back," she sighed.

Narcissa then noticed two letters on his desk. "He's so forgetful...," she thought. She rang for the house elf, Tobey (Dobby's replacement). "Please send up a few owls to take care of these," she asked the elf. Soon enough, a few owls flew into the window and took both letters and the cauldron, which was also addressed to Mr. Potter.

Harry heard a tapping sound at the window. Strange, he had only gotten back from school the other day. Ron knew properly how to use a phone now, so who would have been sending him anything now? He opened the window and let in several owls. One carried a letter with the Malfoy Crest, and the other few had his pewter cauldron.

By now, Harry knew not to expect anything special from Malfoy. However, this didn't keep him from ripping open the letter. Just as he had suspected, the letter was bland and formal:

_Harry –_

_Thanks for letting me borrow your cauldron for a last minute exam with Snape. Sorry I didn't manage to get it back to you before we left the platform. _

_-Draco Malfoy_

_P.S. There's some strange green substance at the bottom. The house elves couldn't manage to scrub it off. Might be from when Crabbe cursed Goyle into vomiting lizards and the closest thing was your cauldron. My apologizes._

Harry scrunched his nose. He made himself ready for the worst and then peered into the bottom of the cauldron. However, what he saw was not green or disgusting. It was... pieces of crumpled parchment paper? He opened one and saw something that made his heart skip a beat. "I love you," was written on the paper in Draco's penmanship. Harry opened another piece. It said exactly the same thing. Harry kept tearing through all the papers. Each one said the exact same thing.

"Hermione, dear!" called Dr. Granger (the feminine one) from the entrance to the house. "Someone from the wizard world has a letter for you."

Hermione picked herself up from the couch and tiptoed around her books and things. As she reached her mother, she saw an owl perched on her mother's shoulder. The small, tawny owl had a letter in it's beak. Hermione pried the letter away from the owl and noticed the seal of the Malfoy family. "Malfoy? What does he want?" she asked quietly.

_Hermione _

_I don't know how to say this; I've never really expressed my feelings to anyone before. So, I'll put it as simply as possible. I love you. You are the most beautiful witch I have ever come to meet. I find that I am stupefied by both your brain and your face._

_Please do not think that this is another joke or prank. I apologize for all of those years of torture and jeering. I know this doesn't make up for any of it, but I hope at least I'll be able to change the way you look at me in the future. Not as an enemy, but a friend._

_Draco Malfoy_

Hermione could only stare at the letter as her jaw dropped about 20 feet below sea level.

Some hours later, Draco flew back into his room. As joyful as the ride was, it did little to clear his mind. As he stepped back in his room, he ultimately decided to burn the letter to Hermione. So when he saw that his desk was clean, his heart nearly jumped out his throat. Draco immediately rang for the house elf.

"What... happened... to the letters... on my desk...?" he sputtered.

"The lady of the house asks Tobey to fetch some owls, so Tobey gets some owls to take away the letters and the cauldron," the little elf replied.

Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy looked up as they heard a strange scream ring through the manor. Narcissa looked to Lucius. "So I was saying, I really think Draco would benefit from a girlfriend or perhaps just a wench."

Tobey was ready to punish himself, as all house elves do when they've done something wrong, but Draco grabbed him and picked him up by the collar. "No, Tobey. Just... go... catch a chicken," Draco told him quickly. Tobey quickly hurried off to find a chicken.

Draco sighed and leaned his head against the wall. The Malfoy owls were fast, they probably already had delivered the letters. He looked out the window, wondering if Hermione had read his letter yet when he saw a lumpy shadow flying in the distance. As it came closer, it began to resemble a flock of owls and a boy riding on the broom. Too shocked to move, Draco could only stand witness as Harry Potter and 5 owls flew into his bedroom window. The owls soon left, leaving a stunned Draco with Harry.

"Potter? What in God's name are you doing here?" Draco asked, incredulously.

"I want to know about these," Harry said quickly as he emptied his pockets of little pieces of parchment. Draco watched them flutter to the floor and read the words, "I love you." "What's this all about, Malfoy?!" Harry demanded

Sure, some of those pieces of parchment were about Harry, but he was never EVER meant to see them. "I... er..." Draco stuttered. Blast, his mother must have swept them into the cauldron without reading them. Damn her tidy habits. Without warning, Harry waltzed straight up to Draco, grabbed his face, and kissed him.

Draco's eyes grew 10 feet wide in under a millisecond. He pushed Harry away. "What are you doing?!" he cried.

"Don't you get it, Malfoy? I want you. This utter bitter-freezing attitude that surrounds you, power, a need to win, it turns me on more than you know," Harry spat out.

It looked as though Harry was ready to kiss Draco again. Draco put his arm up to stop him. "Ok, Potter, look. For one, I'm NOT GAY. For another, I want to see you hurt same as I was. Yeah, for a long while, I thought you were the best thing since sliced bread. You were hot, famous, and pretty damn admirable. But, like everyone else, you shunned me. So guess what, Harry, now YOU get to writhe in utter pain."

The two stared at each other in silence a few minutes. Harry looked very nervous and embarrassed. Draco just looked angry and annoyed. A couple more minutes the silence went on.

"Ok, writhing time over," Draco said suddenly. He grabbed Harry's face and pressed their lips together.

Suddenly, Hermione appeared in the room. She opened her mouth to say something when she realized Harry was also in the room. Her mouth opened wider when she realized that Harry and Draco were kissing. "What is going on?" she cried.

"It's not what you think," Draco replied hastily.

"Not what I think? NOT WHAT I THINK?! I get some random letter from you declaring your love from me, and now here I am to inquire it, and I find you snogging my best friend!" Hermione screeched.

Harry looked at Draco. "You sent her what?"

Draco looked from one friend to the other. "Well... yes. Hermione, you accidentally got my love letter... and Harry, you accidentally received a cauldron full of parchment saying, "I love you."

Harry turned to Hermione. "So there! You weren't supposed to get that letter!"

Hermione gave Harry an evil look. "Oh really? At least I got an addressed letter. You simply received a bunch of paper and assumed it meant something! Now step away from my boyfriend."

Boyfriend? Draco could get used to hearing that one...

"He's not your boyfriend," Harry snapped.

"Well he certainly isn't yours," Hermione retorted.

"How did you get here?" they asked at the same time.

"I followed his owls on my broom," Harry replied.

"I apparated!" Hermione exclaimed

"You're too young to apparate. That's illegal magic!" Harry declared.

"You should talk, The Boy who gallivants across Hogwarts using the Marauders Map!" Hermione retaliated.

"Well... You're just the rebound girl," Harry yelled.

"I'm not scared to hit a guy with glasses," Hermione seethed.

"Nor am I to hit a girl!" Harry hissed.

Draco, who was thoroughly fascinated that he was being fought over, stepped in to break up the fight. "Guys, guys, guys. Come on now... there's plenty of me to go around."

Hermione looked indignant. "I am not about to share with The Boy who would be a Pansy."

"I agree with the brat. I don't share," Harry said.

"You two, you'd think you were five years old," Draco sighed. He walked over to Hermione and stroked her shoulder. He whispered in her ear, "You're friends. You share plenty, like that cloak and that twat, Weasley." He then walked over to Harry and wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders. "I'm just one more little thing, it won't be so bad."

Hermione and Harry looked at each other. They shrugged and nodded. Then the two turned and looked at Draco. He sat at the edge of his bed. Harry advanced first. The two kissed once more, this time more passionately. Draco could feel Hermione kissing his neck and stroking his inner thigh.

Suddenly, Tobey ran in, holding a flapping chicken. "Master Draco, I has your chicken! What do you want Tobey to do with it?"

Draco, Harry, and Hermione, who were all currently frozen in their awkward position, all simply stared at the little house elf. "Um... Tobey, just go give it to the kitchen. They'll figure out something to do with it," Draco replied. With that, little Tobey was out the door again.

"Oh good, are we having chicken for breakfast tomorrow?" Harry asked.

Draco shivered as Hermione blew gently into his ear. "Huh? Whatever... if we manage to wake up by breakfast," he replied as all three fell back onto the bed.

Yup ... He could get used to this.

-Fini-


	2. Chasing Chickens

A/N: I originally thought that this story was only going to be one shot, but my friend (whose account is FancyFantasyFairy) kept asking me to write a specific sequel chapter. Well, who am I to deny a friend a favor? Besides, I'm supposed to star in one of her fics (does happy dance). So, in conclusion:

Dedicated to FancyFantasyFairy. :grins:

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Chasing Chickens

Lucius Malfoy looked up to the ceiling for the thirteenth time that night. For some reason, the chandelier kept shaking back and forth. A strange rattling noise seemed to be coming from his son's room. Lucius got up from his chair to go investigate the matter when his newest house elf, Tobey came colliding into this leg.

"You insolent little creature! What in the Dark Lord's name do you think you are doing?" Lucius asked angrily.

"I…" Tobey began. Instead, he began throwing his head into the nearest wall.

Lucius rolled his eyes and grabbed the small elf by the collar. "Never mind. What is going on in my son's room?" he inquired instead.

"Master has friends over," Tobey answered.

Lucius looked up to the chandelier one more time. Narcissa had she said that she was going to find a wench for Draco, but she had certainly worked quickly. No matter, it was probably for the best.

"If master does not mind, please release Tobey. Tobey must go catch Master Draco's chicken," Tobey requested.

Lucius looked back at the servant. "Chicken?"

Suddenly, a mad flurry of beak and feathers collided with Lucius' leg, causing him to fall. As Lucius landed on his face, he spotted the culprit bird running toward the dining room. "Catch that chicken!" he bellowed, spitting feathers from his mouth. Tobey quickly complied and ran over Lucius' back in the process.

Tobey ran as fast as his tiny legs would carry him. The lithe chicken managed to continue to outrun him, however. He nearly managed to snatch its tail feathers when a door slammed in his face, bending his nose. He sprawled back on the floor, dizzy and in a good deal of pain. As he tried to reshape his nose bridge, Lucius came storming down the hallway.

"Where did that chicken go?" he demanded.

Tobey pointed at the door. "Tobey followed Master Draco's chicken to this room."

Lucius looked from the house elf to the door. "That's… that's my bedroom!" He tried to open the door, but it had been locked from the inside.

"I am Legolas, the prettiest elf of all!"

"I am Will Turner, the prettiest, whiniest pirate of them all!"

"Bok, bok, bok, bok!"

"You're very good at this game, Mr. Chicken!"

Lucius stared at the door as he listened to the conversation from within. He blinked once. And then again. "Alohamora," he commanded. The door flew open, and Lucius and Tobey rushed inside.

There, Narcissa and the chicken were sitting on the bed, playing with plastic figurines.

Narcissa stared at the intruders. "Ah… I can explain…"

"Narcissa, what are you … Are those my Orlando Bloom action figures?" Lucius asked.

"No, they're MY action figures. You have the Johnny Depp ones that you won't share with me," Narcissa replied angrily.

"I would share if you did!" Lucius snapped.

"Master, the chicken is getting away!" Tobey interrupted. He began chasing the quarry of feathers.

Lucius followed. "Come back here, impudent fowl!"

"We're not finished our game, Mr. Chicken!" Narcissa shrieked, following in pursuit.

The three chased the chicken all throughout the house, never managing to reach the annoying little bird. They pushed it all the way back to the main room, and Lucius cornered it.

"Now I've got you right where I want you, you tasty morsel," he laughed.

Suddenly, a great moan erupted from the upstairs room, the chandelier shook again, and a rather large piece of plaster landed directly on top of Lucius' head. He fell, and Narcissa tripped over him.

"Aren't we magical folk?" Narcissa asked as his lay on him.

"Yes."

"Then why haven't we used our wands yet?"

Lucius blinked and whipped out his wand. "Stupefy!" he cried. The spell missed the chicken by an inch. Narcissa and Lucius stood, continuing to follow the chicken through the house.

Lucius aimed his wand and the chicken and kept crying different disarming, freezing, and offensive spells, but missed every time. Finally, he took good aim and screamed, "STUPEFY!" one more time. The spell directly hit the chicken in the wing, and it fell to the ground.

Tobey, Lucius and Narcissa closed in on the fallen chicken. Without warning, the little bird stood and glared at them with red eyes. It threw back its head, and screeched a great, "CUCKKOOOOO, CU-CKKOOOOOOOOOOO!" while it flapped its wings wildly.

"What's going on…?" Narcissa inquired.

The room darkened as dozens of angry white birds shattered the windows of the house and flew into the room. They enclosed around the trio with wildly flapping wings and beady red eyes.

"…RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

---

"Is your dad going to mind that you're snogging a mudblood and the enemy of the Dark Lord?" Harry inquired.

Draco stopped kissing Hermione long enough to ponder the answer. "Probably," he replied decisively.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a cloud of feathers floated into the room. Lucius, who was covered in bird excrement, feathers, and blood, spit a few feathers from his mouth. "Hermione, Harry, good evening," he greeted nonchalantly. "Draco, next time, please ask us before you get Tobey to make chicken for breakfast," he requested. "Good night." The door shut.

Hermione turned to Draco. "What was that all about?"

"Something about breakfast, I suppose," Draco answered, unsure of himself.

Harry put his arms around Draco. "Whatever. I've got something else I want to eat."

BA-GOCK!

(Fin)

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__A/N: If you own Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time, you really ought to try this. Walk up to a Cuckoo and attack it a few times with your sword (or Deku Nut, Deku Stick, Boomerang, etc.) It's a real laugh._


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